Here’s a list of 11 emotionally harmful things that parents should make sure to never do to their child or children:
1. Hugging a child to assuage the parent’s loneliness, while making the child think the affection is for her or him.
2. Telling children whom and when to kiss and hug. “Come on now, give me a kiss”; “Are you going to kiss Uncle John? Good girl.”
3. A parent acting hurt when a child doesn’t want to kiss or hug. This creates enormous guilt in the child, who unconsciously gathers that the parent’s self-esteem is tied to the child’s display of love.
4. Not teaching children that they have a right to say no to touch from anyone, including caregivers.
5. Objectifying a child by showing embarrassing photographs of him or her to others in the child’s presence. This is particularly mortifying to an older child.
6. Great concern and obsession with a child’s body, diet, physical development, and appearance.
7. Excessive interest in bowel movements, urination, hygiene, menstrual periods.
8. Commenting on body development in front of a child. “I think Jeanne is going to be full breasted, don’t you?”
9. Frequent enemas given inappropriately or by a parent who becomes sexually aroused in giving them.
10. Inappropriately controlling what a child wears to please others. “Now you have to wear the pink dress to Grandma’s. It’s her favorite.”